is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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