there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize