I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
