Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
