I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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