yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize