im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
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He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
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Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize