Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Life is so much better after having sex.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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