are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize