am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Dicks are not precious.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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