All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
