How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
