So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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