they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You are a genius and a whore.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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