he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize