make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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