So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize