i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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