so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
