So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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