i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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