He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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