You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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