Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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