at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
