could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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