i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
lets start a swedish sibling band together
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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