bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
