You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
