I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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