all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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