Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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