If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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