It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
