it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
