I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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