He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
