what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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