I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
