I hate your face
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
