Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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