I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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