Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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