omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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