I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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