Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
