I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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