Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
