Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
The adults are the big ones right?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
