do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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