True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize