mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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