two words: eviction party
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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