we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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