This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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