It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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