Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So much rum. So many feels.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
