ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize