Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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